Song #5: Rockin Around The Christmas Tree
Twisted Lyric:
“Rockin’ around the Christmas tree,
At the Christmas party hop.
Mistletoe hung where you can see,
Every couple tries to stop.”
So a bunch of swingers are smokin’ and jokin’ at a party, using mistletoe as an excuse to go full-on yuletide orgy. We’re totally fine with that. What we’re not cool with is that Hanson covered the song in 1997, and Miley Cyrus sang an “updated” version during the 2006 Christmas Day Parade. This is no song for children.