How to Be Kinky in a Relationship: The Basics Explained

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Everyone’s got a kink or two. There’s no use in denying it, especially if you want your relationship to flourish in and outside of the bedroom. Opening up when it’s time to get kinky is a great way to improve the overall quality of your relationship, it turns out. 

That said, figuring out how to be kinky in a relationship can be tough. We’re not all experienced in that realm of things, as much as we’d like to be. 

We’re going to take a look at a few of the basics today, giving you some ideas on how to be more kinky. Let’s get started. 

How to Be Kinky in a Relationship

The first thing to note is that kinkiness isn’t something that occurs out of nowhere. It’s easy to think that some people are more open and kinky, and the rest of us are doomed to a normal life between the sheets. 

This isn’t the case. There might be a few outliers out there who have it in their DNA to be kinky, but most of the time kinkiness is a reflection of comfort. 

A healthy relationship that incorporates kinky ideas is preceded by healthy communication about sexual desires and needs. So, if you’re looking to be kinkier, start by talking. 

What do you like? How open are you to incorporating toys for the bedroom? What would you like to try?

Start with those questions and open up to see what you and your partner are comfortable doing. 

Push The Boundaries a Little

Discomfort tends to lead to growth and improvement. When it comes to sexuality, though, “discomfort” has to come with some caution. We have to distinguish the difference between something we’re not comfortable doing and something that produces a little mental or physical discomfort before turning into something more enjoyable. 

We should never do, or push our partners to do, something we aren’t comfortable with. If one person is pushing something on the other, we enter into territory that can destroy relationships. 

On the other hand, introducing something that you and your partner wouldn’t otherwise try is a healthy thing to do. You have to talk about it in advance and make sure you’re both up for it. 

In fact, introducing new things is essential if you want to become kinkier. If you kept things the same, there would be no opportunity for a kink or two. 

So, the process relies on an open discussion between you and your partner. That might be a little uncomfortable at first because odds are that you haven’t explored those topics with anyone before. 

That discomfort is important to embrace, though, because those nerves and anxieties are a thin veil that’s keeping you from getting into new terrain in the bedroom. 

Want to Spice Things Up?

Once you start learning how to be kinky in a relationship, you might want a few more ideas on how to move forward. There’s a whole world available to you, and we’re here to help you with things that might help.

Explore our site for more ideas and insights into how to spice up your sex life.