DON’T: FAKE A DEATH IN THE FAMILY
Legally, employers are not required to offer bereavement leave to employees. Still, most will offer it. But if you do it and are asked to prove it, you have three terrible options to choose from: 1) Commit murder and produce a body; 2) forge a death certificate; or 3) cop to being a shitty lying employee.
DON’T: USE SOCIAL MEDIA
Dressing up like Iron Man and calling in sick so you can wait in line for five hours on opening day is something the world shouldn’t know about you anyway. But when you’re doing it on the sly on a paid “sick” day, it’s best to keep your FB besties in the dark. You never know who’s trolling the web, and if the wrong person gets wise to your adventure, the next line you might find yourself in is the unemployment line.
