7. It’s Easy To Meet Women
I had some questions before my heat. But instead of asking staff, I asked women. Attractive ones. “Where’s the starting line?” “Can you help me pin this bib to my shirt?” “Does this bib make me look fat?” Not only did every one of them happily help me out, they chatted with me for a few minutes afterward. And it was effortless. Plus, once the race was over, most people gathered outside the course where there was live music, food, merch booths, and beer.
8. Expect Bottlenecking
Had I pulled a Usain Bolt out of the gate I wouldn’t have experienced delays at certain obstacles. Oh well. I wasn’t bothered by slow climbers, road hogs who walked in the middle of the course, or the dude who tripped in front of me while running through the rubber tires. But I did Hulk up during a water obstacle. I had to wade through nut-shriveling cold water and then wait for a slot to open up so I could pull myself back up onto dry land. When I spotted one, I mercilessly boxed out a skinny girl who looked like she was about 15 years old. But I felt no sympathy — like I said, my nuts were freezing.
9. Running Alone is For Losers
I guess that makes me a loser, because I ran alone. It would have been a lot better if I had asked friends to join me so we could get there a few hours before the race, hang out in the parking lot, have a beer (or seven), and then run. Oh, and I recommend getting a ride with a buddy instead of driving your own car. May as well get his ride dirty.
Photo credit: Erica Schultz
