UNCLE RICO’S VAN (NAPOLEON DYNAMITE)
Whoo, boy. An orange 1975 Dodge Tradesman that is both vehicle and apartment is the kind of thing they show to elementary school kids during Safety Awareness Week. Dateline host Chris Hansen wouldn’t even bother to set up a child sex sting operation near it, it’s just too easy.
VERDICT: ARRESTED
THE MILLENNIUM FALCON (FANBOYS)
Owned by Han Solo-obsessed “Hutch,” this black van is essentially everything you should avoid about ComicCon given four wheels and an engine. Covered in Star Wars memorabilia and caked in fanboy loser stink, it’s literally the opposite of a tractor beam when it comes to the opposite sex. The fact that this movie even suggests someone like Kristen Bell would step foot in a van like this is preposterous.
VERDICT: ARRESTED
