HIPPIE VAN (TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE)
Cops will be trailing in your dank skunk wake the minute you cross the border in this thing — this is Texas after all, boy. And if you intend to pick up every hillbilly drifter you see on the side of the road you are basically taking a vow of celibacy.
VERDICT: ARRESTED
JEFF SPICOLI’S VAN (FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH)
See how just a slight tweak can make all the difference? Rolling down a Texas highway in a hippie shack is just asking for trouble. Rolling down to SoCal’s Latigo Beach in a surf-themed smoke house is all that’s right with the world. Spicoli isn’t into peace and love, man, he’s into tasty waves and pizza, and that’s something everyone can get behind.
VERDICT: LAID
Also: 30 things we learned from Fast Times At Ridgemont High.
