QB Johnny Moxon | Varsity Blues, 1999
With a great head for the game, a cannon for an arm, and the ability to get hot blondes to put on whip-cream bikinis without even asking, Moxon would be a fine QB. Yes, he has a bad attitude sometimes, but we’re willing to overlook that. Why? He’s good looking. And when has a good-looking QB ever been a bust?
LB Charles Jefferson | Fast Times At Ridgemont High, 1982
As linebacker for Ridgemont High, Jefferson singlehandedly pulverized the entire Lincoln High offense because he thought they messed up his bitchin’ Camaro. Even being aware of his mild anger issues, we’d still draft him … but if he demanded to change positions, we’d allow it. In fact, if he demanded that we hand over control of the team to him, we probably allow that too.
WR Rashid “Hot Hands” Hanon | The Little Giants, 1994
Hanon had bricks for hands when he first signed to play with the Giants. He even applied sticky goop to his paws to improve his catching ability — and that was what sold us on him. While we’re glad he eventually improved as a receiver, we were even more impressed that he was willing to go to any lengths to win. As long as he keeps his mouth shut, he’s our kind of player.
And if you’re wondering why Air Bud from Air Bud: Golden Receiver was not drafted, the reason is because he is a dog.
