IF YOU’RE IN A RELATIONSHIP …
#1. She has her period.
Yup, she still sometimes says no because it’s her time of the month. Periods can leave women crampy, bloated, and miserable … and when we’re not feeling sexy, we generally don’t want to have sex.
Your play: Offer to order takeout, watch whatever she wants on Hulu, and give her a back massage. You may not get sex tonight as a result, but your kindness and understanding will not be forgotten.
#2. She’s mad at you.
Not having sex with you is an ancient and effective method of letting you know she’s pissed off. She’s probably also slamming drawers, rolling her eyes, or heaving sighs in your direction.
Your play: The more you suggest having sex, the angrier she’ll get. So give her space and time to cool off. Or, better yet, figure out what she’s pissed about and bring it up.
#3. She’s stressed.
Some guys see sex as a surefire way to relieve stress. Women generally don’t. You see, since male orgasm is the only way for the species to continue, guys are evolutionarily primed to be able to clear everything from their minds. But it’s not the same for women; sex becomes just one more item on our already overloaded mental to-do list.
Your play: Do something nice for her if you know she’s stressed. Make dinner, walk the dog, pick up around the house, even help do research for her huge work project.
#4. Her hair looks awesome.
If your hair took an hour and $40 simply to blow dry, you’d be pretty careful with it too. So sometimes a woman’s vanity takes precedence over her libido. And unfortunately nothing you do or say can change that — especially if she’s gotten a blowout for an occasion, like a job interview or a big-deal party.
Your play: First, tell her she looks hot. Second, give her a chance to show off. She’s less likely to mind getting sweaty if she and disheveled if she feels she’s gotten her money’s worth from getting her hair did.
#5. She just wants to cuddle.
You may think that statement is a clear signal that she’s no longer as insanely into you as she was in the past, but that’s not true at all. She just really, really likes you holding her while she talks about her day. It can make her feel even more connected than sex.
Your play: Hold her, listen to her, and whatever you do, don’t fall asleep right away. If you find yourself getting drowsy, change the subject so it’s more of a back-and-forth.
